In my research for a book on geniuses and their personalities, I am discovering a lot of similar themes that run through their lives. In a few paragraphs, I’ll try to share why they have existential crises and how they struggle to find purpose.
Gifted children are usually introverted and have mental processing skills compatible with children in a substantially older age cohort. This means that their interests are often significantly different from children their own age. During their early formative years, they often prefer solitary activities, like reading or playing with toys to interactions with other children. Consequently, they are often lacking in the social skills that are acquired early in life through conflict and cooperation with others.
By the time a gifted child enters school, it soon becomes apparent to their classmates that this child is different. The gifted child is often perceived as “the ugly duckling” –the oddball who doesn’t fit in. The tribal instinct to “purge” the “defective ones” kicks in and the bullying and harassment follows. To gain favor with his or her peer group, the gifted child will sometimes flaunt their superior cognitive skills, exacerbating the antagonism of the group.
As the disapproval of the peer group grows, the gifted child begins to suffer an existential crisis. The neural mirroring that causes each person to evaluate themselves, based on the perceptions of their peer group, erodes their self concept. They begin to see themselves as an ugly duckling.
This process was particularly evident in the early life of J. Robert Oppenheimer. During his adolescent years, he progressed easily through his academic work, but his greatest challenge emerged in social relationships. He had no friends at school. At home, he received approval for achievement and for demonstrating his intellectual prowess, but at school self-promotion was not the route to approval. Biographers Bird & Sherwin report:
As he had skipped several grades, everyone had regarded him as precocious–and sometimes too precious. When he was nine, he was once overheard telling an older girl cousin, “Ask me a question in Latin and I’ll answer you in Greek.”
He later reflected, “[My childhood] did not prepare me in any way for the fact that there are cruel and bitter things.”
In 1918, at age 14, Robert had completed his first year of high school and attended summer camp on Grindstone Island in Lake Ontario. It was in that “Lord of the Flies” environment that his interest in poetry, his psychological distance from others, and his introverted nature made him a victim of cruel bullying and humiliation. Biographer Ray Monk writes:
One evening, while taking a walk Oppenheimer was captured and dragged to the icehouse, [by the other boys at the camp] where he was stripped, his buttocks and genitals were painted green and he was tied up and left alone.
This humiliation further contributed to his social awkwardness and increased his psychological distance from most people. The unrelenting ostracism from his peers drove him deeper into his intellectual pursuits that included extensive reading and creative writing. He seemed destined to pursue a career in some form of literary studies.
However, during his junior year of high school, spanning 1919–1920, Robert’s passion for the physical sciences was ignited by a gifted teacher, Augustus Klock. “Gus,” as he was affectionately known, introduced Robert to atomic theory–a revelation that Oppenheimer would later describe as “A very exciting experience…beautiful, wonderful regularities!” When Julius observed Robert’s passion for atomic theory, he commissioned Klock to tutor Robert in chemistry during the summer of 1920. Robert later said that this experience inspired him to devote his life to science. Klock said many years later, when interviewed by Time magazine, that Oppenheimer was “so brilliant that no teacher would have been skillful enough to prevent him from getting an education.”
Oppenheimer metamorphosed from an ugly duckling into a swan, and went on to become one of the most celebrated intellects in history. However, he still bore emotional scars from his early humiliations and was never comfortable in his own skin. Many other gifted people have followed a similar cycle from bullying to ultimate success. In the successful cases, the gifted person receives emotional support from a talented teacher or peer support from a few fellow “nerds.” who sometimes become close friends. In other cases, the gifted person becomes defeated and suffers feelings of inadequacy or depression throughout their lives. The secret to survival for the gifted child is to find friends of like mind early and develop the necessary social skills. If no friends of like mind are available in the school years, the gifted child must struggle to survive until university when their intelligence will be more likely perceived as a positive attribute.
